I was able to hold back my tears until after my son left for school today. Three days ago a school shooting took 26 precious lives. I wanted Sam to stay home with me, protected and cared for by someone who loves him so very much.
After hearing of this tragedy, my precious boy wanted me to cradle him. He asked about security at his school and said he never wanted his little niece to go to school. Ever. I told him that I pray for him every day, speaking the name of Jesus over him and praying angels around him and his school.
I said these things to comfort myself as much as my son.
The day after the shooting, we were blessed to attend our granddaughter's ballet program. As I looked at all the beautiful children glorifying God in their performance, I couldnt help but think of all the parents and families who will never again watch their children do anything. There are wrapped Christmas gifts that will never be opened, empty chairs at dining room tables, unoccupied desks at school, silence where giggles once rang out. Toys remain idle, arms ache to hold the precious gifts God shared for such a short time. Can I ever hug my kids enough? In my human "momness" am I able to appreciate these gifts appropriately? Of course, the answer is NO. But I know One who loves my priceless treasures even more than I do. I can approach the holy throne of the Father boldly, asking for protection for these so vulnerable. I can trust that God protects and cares for my family perfectly and that whatever happens, He will make good from it.
Moms in Prayer International, an organization of moms who gather to pray regularly for our students and their schools ,is encouraging moms everywhere to join them as they pray for those left behind in CT. I am asking all the Dandelion Moms to pray in agreement using the following as a guide. Please pray for each other as we seek to care for our vulnerable treasures. I love you all!
Pray…
For the families of those who lost their lives: That they would turn their lives to you, Father. That in their sorrow you would grant them strength and grace to make it through the coming days and months. That they would return to you, Lord, with all their heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. That mercy and comfort would be extended to their tender hearts. That this Christmas our families that are grieving would recognize the glorious peace and comfort that comes through faith in you.
For the siblings of those who lost their lives: That Our Father would protect them from the enemy of their soul. That they would find comfort in their family and in the knowledge of your great mercy. That Jesus would be present in their sleep and the darkness of their heart would be warmed by His light. That our Abba Father would comfort them during difficult days ahead.
The family of Adam Lanza: That they would not be judged as they mourn the loss of their mother, brother and victims in this tragedy. That the Lord would give the Sandy Hook School families and community strength to forgive. That the Lord would draw the Lanza family into a saving relationship through the blood of Jesus Christ.
The students, faculty and administration of the Sandy Hook Elementary School: For the Lord to bestow mercy to the children's healing hearts as they mourn the loss of their classmates, administrators, teachers and their perceived safety. That Our Lord would restore the school classrooms with spiritual and emotional healing. That children and families would cling to Jesus as their Rock, Fortress and Deliverer. For Christ to be present in the rebuilding of lives and programs in the wake of this tremendous tragedy.
All of our schools and communities across the USA: That we Christian Americans would humble ourselves, pray, seek Our Lord's face and turn from our sinful ways. That the Lord would hear from heaven and forgive our sin and heal our land. That this tragedy would glorify God through a fierce Holy Spirit led cross-country revival. For repentant hearts that would cling to Jesus. We pray that the Lord would raise up women to join the mighty army of prayer warrior moms and grandmoms that stand in the gap for our children and schools.
Revival in our schools: That every student would have the opportunity to hear of the grace and mercy afforded to us by Our Lord Jesus Christ. That Christian students would be beacons of Christ's light to those who are living in darkness. For the Holy Spirit to move among the hallways of each school in the United States. For students to respond to God's great love and everlasting peace.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen". Ephesians 3: 20-21
12.17.2012
12.07.2012
Good Tidings
I'm no angel. Most days I'm glad, because angels don't have my testimony. The story of how God has taken my messed up life to use for His glory. Angels can't share how Jesus died for them, how He left heaven on a rescue mission to bring them Home. Jesus did this for humans, not angels.
Some days, though, I wish I could have been an angel just long enough to fly around spreading the message of Jesus' birth. Can you imagine how absolutely wonderful that would be? To literally sing out the birth announcement of the Word made flesh! How exciting to be the first to notify earthlings of a Holy intervention on their behalf.
The celestial curtain has closed on the angels' role in sharing the good news of the Savior's birth. I wonder if they wish they could still light up the skies, joyously awakening shepherds with news that everything had changed!
As I ponder this, a light bulb comes on, awakening me to the fact that I too have urgent reasons to joyously share this miracle. Those reasons are the people who still haven't believed in the Babe of Bethlehem. Like I said, I'm no angel so how can I proclaim His birth all these years later?
I can tell my personal story of how God showed me I needed a Savior. The angels' message is mine to share too. Maybe I need to don some wings and take to the streets because the angels' good tidings are still the best news ever.
Luke 2:8-14
Some days, though, I wish I could have been an angel just long enough to fly around spreading the message of Jesus' birth. Can you imagine how absolutely wonderful that would be? To literally sing out the birth announcement of the Word made flesh! How exciting to be the first to notify earthlings of a Holy intervention on their behalf.
The celestial curtain has closed on the angels' role in sharing the good news of the Savior's birth. I wonder if they wish they could still light up the skies, joyously awakening shepherds with news that everything had changed!
As I ponder this, a light bulb comes on, awakening me to the fact that I too have urgent reasons to joyously share this miracle. Those reasons are the people who still haven't believed in the Babe of Bethlehem. Like I said, I'm no angel so how can I proclaim His birth all these years later?
I can tell my personal story of how God showed me I needed a Savior. The angels' message is mine to share too. Maybe I need to don some wings and take to the streets because the angels' good tidings are still the best news ever.
Luke 2:8-14
11.25.2012
A Backward Glance
Sometimes looking back is the only way to move forward. Yet, I detest how my mind relives awful moments, looping repeatedly as I experience them again and again. Old emotions come flooding back as my body recreates the stress.
So I tend to avoid dwelling on the past, keeping its doors tightly closed and marking them "OFF LIMITS".
Lately, though, God has been bringing past struggles to my mind. He gently nudges me, telling me that He was with me through all the yukky things I have been through. He helps me realize that I came through that stuff , because of Him. He wants me to give him glory for where I am today despite what yesterday was like.
So today, I give my God praise for bringing me through divorce with a newborn in my arms, for providing for me financially, I thank Him for holding me and my baby girl close during the dark days following my ex-husband's suicide.
Grief following the accident which claimed my dad's life ,caused me to wonder how I could go on. And yet God pulled me along, my feet dragging as I resisted moving forward.
God was caring for my family as we struggled with step family issues that nearly destroyed our marriage. We are now coping with the challenges of our special son with autism . God is navigating us through the scary waters of transitioning our son into adulthood. My husband and I are still together and enjoy the special bond of love that deepens through the storms.
God has brought us through dark times of grief as our daughter lost 2 children through miscarriage.
We had to release precious grand babies into the arms of Jesus, knowing we will hold them in heaven one day. But we are still here, committed to Jesus and to each other. I can't imagine it being humanly possible after all the harsh words spoken, all the anger at God and each other. But here we are, and here He is, allowing us to glorify and praise Him , pointing others to His waiting, loving arms. Loving God makes the past a treasure and the future an adventure.
So I tend to avoid dwelling on the past, keeping its doors tightly closed and marking them "OFF LIMITS".
Lately, though, God has been bringing past struggles to my mind. He gently nudges me, telling me that He was with me through all the yukky things I have been through. He helps me realize that I came through that stuff , because of Him. He wants me to give him glory for where I am today despite what yesterday was like.
So today, I give my God praise for bringing me through divorce with a newborn in my arms, for providing for me financially, I thank Him for holding me and my baby girl close during the dark days following my ex-husband's suicide.
Grief following the accident which claimed my dad's life ,caused me to wonder how I could go on. And yet God pulled me along, my feet dragging as I resisted moving forward.
God was caring for my family as we struggled with step family issues that nearly destroyed our marriage. We are now coping with the challenges of our special son with autism . God is navigating us through the scary waters of transitioning our son into adulthood. My husband and I are still together and enjoy the special bond of love that deepens through the storms.
God has brought us through dark times of grief as our daughter lost 2 children through miscarriage.
We had to release precious grand babies into the arms of Jesus, knowing we will hold them in heaven one day. But we are still here, committed to Jesus and to each other. I can't imagine it being humanly possible after all the harsh words spoken, all the anger at God and each other. But here we are, and here He is, allowing us to glorify and praise Him , pointing others to His waiting, loving arms. Loving God makes the past a treasure and the future an adventure.
11.13.2012
My Heart's Desire
I know there are wonderful people in this world who actually seek to become the parents of special needs children. I'm not one of them.
I remind God way too often that I didn't sign on for this! I'm not patient enough, nor do I have the boundless energy and optimism required to make it through just one day parenting my son. I speak God's promise back to Him (without much reverence), " Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." My desire was not to raise someone with so many challenges and God is well aware of that. He made me and knows me better than I know myself.
But I did sign on to follow Jesus and share in His suffering. I told Him I wanted to bring Him glory and be used to help others. Just not this way.
I came to Christ as a child and I began to sense the Holy Spirit's presence. I "knew" that I would do a unique work for the Lord, something considered great. You can imagine my excitement as I grew up watching for big doors to open, leading to my instant success in the world of believers. God had something else in mind.
A special child grew not in my womb, but in my heart. My empty arms ached for this baby and his cries awakened me at night. Pillows wet with tears and heartsick, I BEGGED God to relieve me of this burden to have another child. Eight long years later, God filled my arms with a 5 day old baby boy who could barely move, much less take a bottle.
My life now consists of doing whatever it takes to help our Sam succeed. Not much "greatness" is attached to what I do. Many days survival is all I can hope for. Yet I treasure this gift from God. Sam has taught me so much and I wouldn't take a million dollars for the blessing of being his mom.
God, in His gentle, subtle way, has made me aware that He has most definitely given me the desires of my heart. He knows I prefer a bunch of drooping dandelions; not a flawless bouquet of roses.
Thank you Father, for always being right!
I remind God way too often that I didn't sign on for this! I'm not patient enough, nor do I have the boundless energy and optimism required to make it through just one day parenting my son. I speak God's promise back to Him (without much reverence), " Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." My desire was not to raise someone with so many challenges and God is well aware of that. He made me and knows me better than I know myself.
But I did sign on to follow Jesus and share in His suffering. I told Him I wanted to bring Him glory and be used to help others. Just not this way.
I came to Christ as a child and I began to sense the Holy Spirit's presence. I "knew" that I would do a unique work for the Lord, something considered great. You can imagine my excitement as I grew up watching for big doors to open, leading to my instant success in the world of believers. God had something else in mind.
A special child grew not in my womb, but in my heart. My empty arms ached for this baby and his cries awakened me at night. Pillows wet with tears and heartsick, I BEGGED God to relieve me of this burden to have another child. Eight long years later, God filled my arms with a 5 day old baby boy who could barely move, much less take a bottle.
My life now consists of doing whatever it takes to help our Sam succeed. Not much "greatness" is attached to what I do. Many days survival is all I can hope for. Yet I treasure this gift from God. Sam has taught me so much and I wouldn't take a million dollars for the blessing of being his mom.
God, in His gentle, subtle way, has made me aware that He has most definitely given me the desires of my heart. He knows I prefer a bunch of drooping dandelions; not a flawless bouquet of roses.
Thank you Father, for always being right!
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