A Backward Glance

Sometimes looking back is the only way to move forward. Yet, I detest how my mind relives awful moments, looping repeatedly as I experience them again and again.  Old emotions come flooding back as my body recreates the stress.

So I tend to avoid dwelling on the past, keeping its doors tightly closed and marking them "OFF LIMITS". 

Lately, though,  God has been bringing past struggles to my mind.  He gently nudges me, telling me that He was with me through all the yukky things I have been through.  He helps me realize that I came through that stuff , because of Him.  He wants me to give him glory for where  I am today despite what yesterday was like. 

So today, I give my God praise for bringing me through divorce with a newborn in my arms, for providing for me financially, I thank Him for holding me  and my baby girl close during the  dark days following my ex-husband's suicide.
Grief following  the accident which claimed my dad's life ,caused me to wonder how I could go on. And yet God pulled me along, my feet dragging as I resisted moving forward.

 God was caring for my family as we struggled with step family issues that nearly destroyed our marriage.  We are now coping with the challenges of our special son with autism . God is navigating us through the scary waters of transitioning our son into adulthood.  My husband and I are still together and enjoy the special bond of love that deepens through the storms. 
God has brought us through  dark times of grief as our daughter lost 2 children through miscarriage.
 We had to release precious grand babies into the arms of Jesus, knowing we will hold them in heaven one day.  But we are still here, committed to Jesus and to each other.  I can't imagine it being humanly possible after all the harsh words spoken, all the anger at God and each other.   But here  we are, and here He is, allowing us to glorify and praise Him , pointing others to His waiting, loving arms. Loving God makes the past a treasure and the future an adventure.